Showing posts with label antioch. Show all posts
Showing posts with label antioch. Show all posts

Monty Python Toy Vault Mini Plush Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Review

Monty Python Toy Vault Mini Plush Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
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(More customer reviews)
I bought one of these as a christmas gift for my younger sister. I returned and bought one for myself (and my office) (One has many uses, in the office, for a "Holy Hand Grenade" on a daily basis).
The item is, itself, well-made for the price. It is made of a very soft vinyl cloth. The cloth is stitched, with good quality, to hold it together. The cloth is both silver and gold, which gives it the exact appearance of the "Holy Hand Grenade" in the film. There are buttons on the seems which give it a plush, upholstered look, and, a large plastic ruby on both sides of the cross on top. The cardboard box that substitutes for the wooden chest is made of heavy (about 160 lb) cardboard, and, it is nicely decorated.
There are complete instructions printed on the box:
"INSTRUCTIONS:
To use, squeeze
(No, not that you perv. The grenade)"
"DO NOT USE
As a suppository
As an egg substitute for easter events
In combination with the Holy Flame Thrower of Bethlehem"
This item seems relatively safe, and, I would entrust it to children four years old and up. It's worth the money just for the fun . . .
Made by "ToyVault" in London, KentuckyARTHUR: . . . . That rabbit is dynamite!
. . .BEDEVERE: We have the Holy Hand Grenade.
ROBIN: The what?
DEDEVERE: The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. 'Tis one of the sacred relics Brother Maynard always carries with him.
ALL: Yes. Of course.
ARTHUR (shouting): Bring up the Holy Hand Grenade!
Slight pause. Then from the area where the 'HORSES' are, a small group of monks process forward towards the KNIGHTS, the leading MONK bearing an ornate golden reliquary, and the accompanying MONKS chanting and waving incense. They reach the KNIGHTS. The hand grenade is suffused with the holy glow.
ARTUHUR takes it. Pause,
ARTHUR: How does it . . . er . . .
LAUNCELOT: I know not.
ARTHUR: Consult the Book of Armaments.
BROTHER MAYNARD: Armaments Chapter Two Verses Nine to Twenty-One.
ANOTHER MONK (reading from the Bible): And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in They mercy' and the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orang-utangs and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and . . .
BROTHER MAYNARD: Skip a bit, brother . . .
ANOTHER MONK: (Michael Palin) . . . Er . . . oh, yes . . . and the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number, be reached then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antiock towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
ARTHUR: Right!
I hope you enjoy this review as much as I have enjoyed this film for so many years . . . .

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In Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the Holy Hand Grenade was the only weapon that could defeat the Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth. This is a reproduction of that famous weapon of bunny destruction. Sized to be easily thrown with only one hand at amost 5" in diameter, this silent version, without whoopee cushion, will never be heard by that bad bunny. First time ever released in this size!

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